Remorse

My head is screaming
Like the wind one Autumn night
There’s too much to say
So for now, I just write
You flutter through my mind
Like a songbird in flight
But you’re running from me
And it gives me such a fright
My heart pounds roughly
When thinking of our plight
It’s the closeness that I miss
It’s got me feeling so contrite
I wish to turn to you
When loneliness strikes
So in the back of my mind
I plan to fight
A good friend you were
And now pushed aside
From my own remorse
I try to hide
But it pushed and pulled
And broke my stride
And for the first time since then
I broke down and cried
Every effort
Has been crushed, like my pride
Every apology
Has been stomped on, denied

Though what can you say
To the girl who tried
Who would have stayed
Through the hellish ride
That you broke, and crushed,
And stomped on in turn
Whose heart you ripped out
And watched it burn
How do I stand here
Trying to force my concern
Why does the past repeat?
Oh! When will I learn?

Au Revoir

My fingers keep itching with every new revelation
The story keeps switching, it’s a bitter sensation
You’re changing my feelings to justify your own
I may not understand my heart, but I’m not made of stone
You speak as if I never really liked you at all
Of course that’s a lie; don’t make me feel so small
We felt the same at the start; just ended differently
I would change if I knew how, just so you won’t resent me
I’m sorry I couldn’t completely reciprocate
All that you felt for me; if only I could create
Some sort of remedy, so you can take a swig and finally be free
And maybe you can stand to take a look at me
And become the friend that you used to be
But I’m not magician, nor a sorceress
And I’ll end up with an ulcer if I add to the stress
So I tip my hat, and take my leave
I don’t have any more words up my sleeve
I bid you au revoir; I hope your days are sublime
Maybe we’ll meet again in another lifetime

Broken

So many pieces lying around
They stick to my skin; they cover the ground
Tape hasn’t helped; nor has glue
I had hoped that I could be fixed by you
It would seem I hold a lie within
My heart, it beats, to my chagrin
Though feel it does not, and when I take a guess
It proves to be nothing but future distress
I stress and obsess over what is to come
Because everything inside can only feel numb
Though I try my best to give all that I’ve got
So you do not see what I forgot:
That I do not know how to give my all
The knowledge is lost; I can recall
The first time that I “loved” another
It was also my last; I’ve “loved” no other
When I look back, I know it was fake
But it felt so real; I’ve made the mistake
Of wanting to feel that way again
Instead of searching for something sane
Instead of searching for something true;
Maybe I should have looked twice at you
I hope the next will bring success
I’m so afraid, I must confess,
That I will just be broke forever
And won’t survive this next endeavor
I pray that he will hold the key
The tape, the glue that will fix me
So I won’t be so lost in these difficult days
So I won’t walk alone in such a daze
So I can tell what’s wrong from right
So I can rest my head at night

The Tigress Speaks

I lay in bed
Trying to push away the things that fill my head
That hurt my gut, that throttle my chest
The words that say away from me is best
And the hole in my heart continues to spread
Almost as if you had said you wished I were dead
My hands are shaking, my vision unclear
You were something I held very dear
Together or not, I continued to care
I cursed myself; now I sink in despair
If only you knew what you mean to me
If only I could express all that’s hidden inside
Wish I could guarantee that your heart would be free
But it seems that everything I want is denied
I said I didn’t love you; I probably did
Something tells me it shouldn’t hurt this bad
That it should mean nothing; shouldn’t make me sad
That my ties are cut and I should be glad
But tears continue to fall from my eyes
Two nights in a row; gee what a surprise
Of course with big decisions come a big price
And if I could go back, I’d do the same thing twice
I have no regrets, though the outcome I hate
I’ve lost a great friend, someone whom I could relate
Someone who stuck by my side through thick and thin
Someone who knew me like some of my kin
Closer than that; someone I adored
Someone who could pierce through my skull like a sword
It seems like I always get rid of what’s good
If it was possible to fix what’s been done I would
But for now I see it’s useless to try
So I’ll step back with many tears and a sigh
And pray that I don’t ruin much more
I now say goodbye, with a kiss and a roar