The Missing Q

I call into _uestion
The _uality of the keys.
My _uandary may seem little,
But right now I _uake and wheeze.

I think I have _ fever;
My situation's very _ueer.
My _ is on a _uest,
After _uietude for a year.

It wasn't happy lying _uiescent,
Like a _uotidian ghost.
Its _uondam residence lay empty;
Now I re_uire it the most.

Toshiba, you're so _uirky
With your _uasi-broken letter.
A phone call to the help desk _uacks
Can _uickly make you better.

A girl with no elo_uence
Was there to take my re_uest.
I cannot consider her _uaint;
Her attitude's _uestionable at best.

I do not think she's _ualified;
It's safe to say that she's _uick-tempered.
When I ask to buy a _, she barks,
"The last was bought in November."

"This is inade_uate.
Not even a _uantity of one?
How can you make your _uota?"
She says, "For that key, we have none."

I'm starting to feel _ueasy.
"You people have no techni_ue!
How long will it take to get the e_uipment?"
"It may take as long as twelve weeks."

"Three months?" I say brus_uely,
"I hope it's once ex_uisite key!
What does my total e_ual?"
"That'll be $14.93."

"Are you joking?" I in_uire,
Though a _uipster she is not.
"I don't mean to seem _uerulous,
But it costs _uite a lot.

I hope a _uarter goes to charity,
Since the _uotation of keys is high."
She says, "Don't misunderstand;
The other keys cost $1.05."

"Why just the _?
Where's it coming from? _uebec?"
"Pretty much, and by the way:
We can only take a check."

We continue to _uarrel,
And _uibble, and fight.
She says I'm a delin_uent;
She's grotes_que, impolite.

In the end, she calls head_uarters,
And orders my _
(She became suddenly _uick-witted
When told I con_uuered kung fu).

_uadruple weeks
And a quadrille later,
I can't keep _uiet;
The _uiver in my hand's a traitor.

I step away from the _uiche,
And put my hair in a _ueue.
The _uestionaire can wait;
The _ueen-sized box I rip through.

I can't help but s_uirm;
The _ is here!
My joy can't be _uashed;
I've no _ualms, and no fear.

Oh no! I _uit!
This cannot be true!
That girl knew diddlys_uat!
That girl sent me a U!